Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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