Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
