wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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