He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She is in my trunk
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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