Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
