I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
