Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
