I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We had sex on a dog bed..
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize