I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize