Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hippo gnu deer
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Randomize
