alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
