you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
