just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
