1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
someone owes me an orgasm
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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