And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
