I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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