I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
