in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
