Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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