how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
