Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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