We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
