Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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