erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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