It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
