I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
How naked do you want me to be?
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