Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
