guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
