You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
