Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
