I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
