U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
