Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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