I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
