i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
