I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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