At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
