There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
