Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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