Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I am naked and annoyed.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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