It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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