quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
