why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
