Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I will pee on everything he values.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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