you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Thank you for not boning my boss.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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