You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Text me some of your sweat
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