I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
