Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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