so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
