Got a toothbrush?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
