Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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