I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
