Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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