i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize